Weddings used to come with a long list of etiquette rules that, if broken, might have sent Aunt Susan into a pearl-clutching frenzy. But guess what? It’s your wedding, and the old-school rulebook is totally up for debate.
While some etiquette traditions are timeless and worth keeping, others are outdated, unnecessary, and just plain stressful. So, let’s break down which wedding etiquette rules you can totally ignore—and which ones still deserve a little respect.
Etiquette Rules You Can Ignore
1. You Must Wear White
If white isn’t your thing, ditch it! Brides are rocking everything from bold colors to soft pastels and even chic jumpsuits. Your wedding, your wardrobe rules.
2. You Have to Have a Wedding Party
Not into the idea of wrangling bridesmaids and groomsmen? Skip it. Plenty of couples are choosing to have zero wedding party members or just a sibling or best friend standing by their side.
3. You Must Invite Every Single Relative
Just because someone is technically family doesn’t mean they automatically get an invite. If you haven’t spoken in years or they bring drama, it’s okay to leave them off the list.
4. You Need to Have a Traditional Registry
Not everyone needs (or wants) a new set of pots and pans. Cash funds, honeymoon registries, or even donation requests are all totally acceptable alternatives.
5. You Must Have a Wedding Cake
If cake isn’t your thing, don’t have one. Couples are swapping out the classic tiered cake for donuts, pies, ice cream bars, or even late-night pizza. And honestly, we love it.
6. You Have to Stick to a Traditional Timeline
Cocktail hour before the ceremony? Sure! Dancing before dinner? Go for it. The typical wedding flow is great, but if it doesn’t fit your vibe, shake things up.
7. You Can’t See Each Other Before the Ceremony
First looks have become wildly popular, and for good reason—they allow couples to have an intimate moment together before the chaos of the day. If you love the idea of a first look, go for it!
Etiquette Rules That Still Matter
1. Be Clear About the Dress Code
Nobody wants to show up to a beach wedding in a tux or a black-tie wedding in flip-flops. Whether it’s formal, cocktail, or casual, let your guests know the dress code so they feel comfortable and prepared.
2. RSVP Deadlines Exist for a Reason
Chasing down late RSVPs is not fun. Make the deadline clear, and don’t feel bad following up with guests who “forgot.” Your vendors need final headcounts!
3. Thank-You Notes Are Still a Must
Whether it’s a handwritten note or a heartfelt email, thanking guests for their presence and gifts is just good manners. A little gratitude goes a long way.
4. Be Considerate About Seating Arrangements
Even if you go for open seating, try to make sure no one feels left out or awkwardly stuck with people they don’t know. And if you’re assigning seats, keep family dynamics in mind (because no one wants to sit between feuding cousins).
5. Feed Your Guests
It doesn’t have to be a fancy plated dinner, but make sure there’s enough food and drink to keep guests happy. Hangry wedding guests are not the vibe.
6. Be Upfront About Plus-Ones and Kids
If you’re having an adults-only wedding or limiting plus-ones, make it clear on the invite. That way, guests can plan accordingly without awkward assumptions.
Your Wedding, Your Rules
At the end of the day, wedding etiquette should be about making the day enjoyable—not stressful. So feel free to break the outdated rules, stick to the ones that make sense, and most importantly, plan a wedding that feels right for you.